Oh, the Oscars
Somehow the thrill is gone. Was it a writer’s strike we just lived through or was there secretly a stylist’s strike I didn’t know about? It hit me watching Cameron Diaz talk to Ryan Seacrest. He asked her who made the dress and she said “Dior.” He asked who made the jewelry and she didn’t know so she leant in to her publicist and exchanged a whisper and informed Ryan it was Bulgari. At that moment I wondered what the word stylish had come to mean. I guess for some it requires nothing more than showing up for an appointment with your stylist who tries on a few dresses and some nice accessories and gives your publicist a full list of credits in case anyone asks. Cameron looked good if not a little beige. Or ecru. Or what would you call that non-colour? I’ve been watching Cameron Diaz for years cause she’s one of my favorites and she usually looks best when she styles herself and she actually knows what she’s wearing.
I will avoid writing about the dresses I didn’t like (as in Ellen Page who looked lost in her dress and Jennifer Hudson who got it wrong again) because I’m not even necessarily sure it’s that cool to look fabulous at the Oscars anymore. Maybe that’s what I’ll keep telling myself till someone actually does look fabulous. Though Anne Hathaway looked ravishing. Something about the way that girl carries clothes and makeup is magical. Hilary Swank, gorgeous as she looked all clothed and coifed and made-up somehow looked standard and a little uptight while Anne Hathaway managed to look younger than springtime even though she was got-up too. Amy Adams looked gorgeous. At one point Kimora Lee Simmons and Guiliana DePandi were criticizing her for being too simple and I wondered when and how they became style mavens who know enough to criticize others. Girls look within before you cast stones. Amy Adams was working a Veronica Lake hairdo, which was my favorite thing of the night. The other person who I thought looked gorgeous beyond belief was Jessica Alba whose skin and features were benefiting from her pregnancy. I don’t know what she looked like in person but on camera she was glowing glowing in that dark deep perfect purple gown. Also on the good hair list is Penelope Cruz. I missed the dress. I thought it wasn’t significant enough to hold up to her great, great beauty. Another serious disagreement between Kimora, Guiliana and I was Marion Cotillard’s Gaultier dress. They loved. I didn’t love so much. Alors.
Can we talk about men? Johnny Depp carried the night. Javier Bardem failed the test. He is the most gorgeous creature alive and yet he was wearing a very old suit with a really high gorge. Somehow it was looking like Romeo Gigli from the early nineties. In general it was a bad night for satin lapels. They all looked rented. Especially on Colin Farrell who otherwise looked amazing with his long hair and stubble. (And his mom is a handsome, handsome woman and it was sweet to see them together.) Helen Mirren looked more heavenly by just throwing some old dress on than girls half her age. So did Tilda Swinton, swaggering in in an oversized crushed velvet chemise. On the whole though I should remark that it’s best not to expect a lot from the folks who walk the red carpet cause then when someone (Diane Lane) arrives knocking everyone out, the thrill comes back again.
